[ Klaus gets the poppers and tutting down pat -- he picks it up naturally, alarmingly graceful, but for some reason or another nothing works. Maybe it's because Klaus is way too high. Maybe it's because Quentin's not being clear--regardless, it's frustrating, and Quentin starts clamping his jaw down and gritting his teeth just a little more.
He just tries to make sure Klaus knows it's not because of him. That's one of the worst feelings in the world, feeling like you're disappointing someone. It's why Quentin always tries to smile, even if it doesn't reach his face.
They've only got a few more days until freedom when it hits--the crushing wave of despair smacks him upside the head in the middle of the night, Quentin lying awake, unable to fully sleep. It's the rattling of a cart, it's his surroundings being unbearably quiet, it's everything and nothing at once. He can't shut his mind off.
He's slammed by the sudden realization that he's alone. And yes, even though the rational part of him knows that Klaus is there, directly above him, his mind whispers that the other's just putting up with him. That he's a charity case. That Quentin is, above all else, absolutely worthless. He can't even teach a powerful Magician anything. He didn't stop the Beast, didn't stop his friends from dying--all he did was make it worse. He's even dragging Klaus down--the other is staying here, in his own personal hell, just for him.
He tries to read the Fillory books, but he just thinks of the Beast. He tries to do some magic--anything to get things off his mind--but he's met with the fact that he can't even teach Klaus.
The worst part is that it's familiar, curling himself up and sobbing as quietly as he can while Klaus sleeps above him. It's that he's used to this. ]
quentin is not alright;
He just tries to make sure Klaus knows it's not because of him. That's one of the worst feelings in the world, feeling like you're disappointing someone. It's why Quentin always tries to smile, even if it doesn't reach his face.
They've only got a few more days until freedom when it hits--the crushing wave of despair smacks him upside the head in the middle of the night, Quentin lying awake, unable to fully sleep. It's the rattling of a cart, it's his surroundings being unbearably quiet, it's everything and nothing at once. He can't shut his mind off.
He's slammed by the sudden realization that he's alone. And yes, even though the rational part of him knows that Klaus is there, directly above him, his mind whispers that the other's just putting up with him. That he's a charity case. That Quentin is, above all else, absolutely worthless. He can't even teach a powerful Magician anything. He didn't stop the Beast, didn't stop his friends from dying--all he did was make it worse. He's even dragging Klaus down--the other is staying here, in his own personal hell, just for him.
He tries to read the Fillory books, but he just thinks of the Beast. He tries to do some magic--anything to get things off his mind--but he's met with the fact that he can't even teach Klaus.
The worst part is that it's familiar, curling himself up and sobbing as quietly as he can while Klaus sleeps above him. It's that he's used to this. ]